- me: [gently touches the sleeping cat]
- cat: [makes a tiny cat noise]
- me: ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh nooooooooooooooooooooooooo ohh noo ohhhhh nooooooo oh no oh nooooo oh my god oh noooo
man imagine aliens w no concept of interspecies cooperation or pets
'commander the scan of this shelter reveals three primary lifeforms'
'excellent. elaborate please'
'all mammals. two quadrupeds, one feline and one canine, as well as one biped sapien. they appear to be… relaxing and eating in a shared space'
'what the fuck'
imagine these guys trying to be really polite about it because for some reason the bipeds really enjoy harboring these strange freeloading carnivores. an alien warlord meeting some diplomat’s cat and being all tentatively like ‘ah… yes. your parasite is remarkably large and complacent. you are no doubt a very well-used host and oh my stars don’t let it touch me no no NO.’
I kind of wanted to get up about two hours ago but the cat found the PERFECT place to settle and go to sleep on top of me and since then it has been a contest between “will the cat finish napping” or “will I no longer be able to wait to pee”
My cat died and I just found out from someone who didn’t know I hadn’t been told.